Operation Chubby

So everyone keeps asking me how Declan liked Christmas. Ummm...he didn't know it was happening? He basically stared at all of his presents and ripped on piece of wrapping paper before moving on. He likes his new toys though, so the fruit of Christmas, or should I say the spirit of Christmas was greatly appreciated by my little papoose.

Declan had his nine month appointment on the 19th, and it didn't quite go as planned. While Declan's height is in the 95th percentile, his height/weight ratio is now in the 20th. What happened to my bigfatbaby? After mildly hyperventilating, I explained that he's been crawling and is extremely mobile and my doctor (you know what she thinks about my explanations) immediately gave me the business. She said all babies his age are extremely mobile so it doesn't count. Then she really freaked me out by telling me that babies his age really need fat for brain development. So you know what that means? The first time he struggles on a test or is slow to pick something up, I'll spend the whole week blaming myself for not giving him enough fat when he was 8 months old. It's okay though, I got her back by keeping her for another 30 minutes rehashing all the reasons why Declan might not have gained weight. Maybe next time she'll think twice before shaming me.

Needless to say, the moment I got home, I started Operation Chubby. I went to the store and bought $65.00 worth of full fat dairy products. That's a lot of dairy, people! Then I made him some new food and instead of steaming the veggies, I sauteed them in butter, and instead of using water in the puree, I used heavy cream. The result: deliciousness. As God is my witness, Big Fat Baby will rise again!

We doubled his meal portions (he ate it all) and started giving him snacks twice a day. And instead of saying no to cookies, I bought baby D his first Nilla Wafers. No more water to dilute the juice! He gets the good stuff now.

And after a week of this, I took him to the doctor to have his ears looked at. I was more anxious to weigh him than to find out about the ears (they are fine). All the fat and carbs have to be working, right? I mean, he is my son. His weight? 20 Fing pounds! Not 20.1, not 20.2. 20 on the dot. Seriously. We nearly doubled D's food, which he was totally receptive to and which really broke my heart because I became convinced I must have been starving him. But 20 pounds? Not even an ounce gained? He even looks chubbier!

Short of creating a butter IV, I'm not sure what I can do to make this kid a chubster again. But, damn it, I'm going to try. Wish me luck.

We are off to Mexico on Friday, which I'm sure will mean I'll have a ton to report when we get back, but once we return, I have to go into the doctor's office for an official weigh in. Yep, that's right, we have to check back up on his weight. Hopefully, he will have fattened up by then. Wish us luck!