Leaps!

So I'm not sure if I've talked about it before, but the most useful book I've read since becoming a mom has been The Wonder Weeks.  I found it when I was looking online for help with a baby who wouldn't sleep, clung to me for dear life, and seemed unusually fussy for no reason.  It was what Oprah would call an "ah ha" moment for me.  But for me it wasn't a clarification of my soul, it was a guidebook for how to understand all those things that were driving me bat shit crazy!  I just felt so out of control, especially when all the books contradicted each other and, often, my own intuition.  

Then I found The Wonder Weeks.  God, I sound like a commercial.  But I don't care.  Here's the basic premise:  when kids go through fussy periods that seem to have no reason, they are usually on the verge of a mental breakthrough or "leap forward" as it's called in the book.  These Swedish researchers spent years working on case studies and found that during certain weeks of a child's first year (and I think the years of toddlerhood too), children reach certain mental developmental milestones.  Before the leaps forward, when kids are working on the new understanding, they get fussy and cranky and don't sleep.

And sure enough, after all the books that didn't really apply to Declan, I found one that was trustworthy.  I'm talking freaky accuracy.  Right when Declan would seem not himself and we were up late because he wouldn't sleep; right when we were taking out the Ibuprofen because it had to be teething, I'd take out that book and count out the weeks (sometimes that would take a considerable amount of time, especially after about 25 weeks), it would be right on.  

The best part about the book is that it outlined the mental leaps that take place after the fussy period and would give examples of some of the new skills that would emerge.  And every time Declan would start doing those exact things.  

It totally makes sense that this would be the book for me.  Brain science makes sense to me; way more than some authoritative-author-voice telling me I was making all the wrong decisions; way more than some super regimented Nazi routine; way more than letting my child using my boobs as comfort until he was 5.  This book did not guilt me or tell me what to do.  I hate being told what to do, it's like Marty McFly being called chicken.  It just sets off alarms.

But I've already bored you, haven't I?  And this blog isn't about the book.  It's about the new leaps forward, and the last of Declan's first year, that have been so fun this week.  His walking has totally improved.  He's been getting on his little car and slowly moving it around the room.  He's started to point everywhere and waves bye bye when he wants to leave a room.  He's throwing a ball back to me.  And he's finally gotten "all done" in sign language.  

I'm really looking forward to having a toddler.  Declan's been so darling lately.  To be honest, I wish I could have my second baby and fast forward to the time he/she is one.  I know that probably sounds cold, but we established when I started blogging that I'm only interested in the truth, not some hunky dory, pretty picture.  And the truth is that I love my little kid.  I love making him laugh and walking around with him.  I love that he interacts with his environment and understands me when I show him things.  It's just so much better than the infant stage.  Not that I wasn't totally in love with him and everything he did then, but it's just so much different now.  And at the end of this first year of motherhood I do feel I am finally getting the hang of it.  

But you know how I feel about confidence...right when you're feeling pretty proud of yourself, something new comes along to knock you back down to size.  But I think I'm ready this time.