Break On Through

Declan decided he'd like to send you all a message.  Here it is: #=Olp=[]\;p_.  That kid is obsessed with the computer.  Whenever he sees it, he'll zoom across the room and pop right up to where it is.  My very generous sister gave me her old iBook, and on first look Declan was in love.  He often accosts Rich's work laptop.  And by accost, I mean he rips the keys out, locks it, tries to pull the screen off, pretty much anything that could irreparably damage it.  So you can imagine his frustration when he tried the same thing with the iBook.  The keys didn't budge.  And Declan got his little nails right in there and worked feverishly.  After that, the luster seemed to have vanished and he moved on to eating my wrapping paper and trying to knock over my coffee.  

As you all know from the videos I posted about a couple of weeks ago, Dec has started walking.  We were told that as soon as a week after he started he'd be tearing through the house.  Not yet.  He's slowly becoming more proficient, but he's more likely to stop and drop than wobble and fall.  I'm telling you, that kid is just like his daddy.  It's all about calculated risk.  I'm convinced that Declan learned how to slowly lower himself to the ground before he'd risk standing for long periods of time, and mastered standing up on his own before he'd try to wobble around.  Our poor next kid will probably be like me and split its head open daily by just going for it.  

But I haven't even gotten to our latest breakthrough, or should I say break down?  The story starts out happy.  My mom and I were at lunch yesterday when Declan started saying "muh".  Now this is a big deal.  Every time we've tried to get Dec to say Mama, he stares intently and "baba" comes out.  That kid cannot get past the Bs.  But yesterday was the breakthrough!  After a few "muhs", a completely clear "Mama" came out.  Oh we cheered.  Finally!  After enduring the "Juh Juh" and "Baba", Mama was finally getting some love.  Except he seemed to be moving through the alphabet because right after Mama came the N sound.  And then it happened:  as I brought the spoon to his mouth, Declan turned his head and said "nuh".  I didn't think anything of it until there were a series of "nuhs" and they happened every time he didn't want something.  Seriously?  Is my kid learning "no" already?  So I kept testing it out.  I'd take away something he was playing with and "nuh, nuh, nuh".  Not that I'm claiming he's got "no" already, but it's the beginning.  And it makes its point.  

So, it's been a whole day, and no more "Mama".  Not even an M sound at all.  But "nuh, nuh" has stayed.  I have a feeling it's not going anywhere.  

The Patty Duke Show

I couldn't stop singing the theme song from The Patty Duke Show this weekend.  I don't think I ever watched that show, but for some reason I know some lines from the theme song: they're cousins, identical cousins through and through.  At least I think that's how it goes.  

So we spent the weekend in L.A. with the Pokaskis.  There's something so wonderful about being with people that are going through the same thing.  Although Charlie is almost two now, it wasn't long ago that he was taking his first steps, putting everything in his mouth, and falling out of the high chair.  Or maybe that one was just Declan.  

Needless to say, bringing Declan anywhere is a huge to do.  And this was no exception.  The time change messed all of us (or at least me and Declan) up from the start, and at 3:00 in L.A. it's dinner time in Kansas.  Well, I don't know if it was the sleep deprivation or just plain stupidity, but we arrived in L.A. at 2:35.  On a Friday.  Yes, L.A. is famous for its rush hours, and we were treated to a doozy.  Now, if I hadn't been half asleep myself, I might have had the foresight to bring something for Dec to eat, but if I had, it wouldn't be a story.  I'll cut to the chase because I've got a lot to cover: after an hour and a half in traffic, a good half hour of screaming, most of it from Declan, I dipped into Vladimir the driver's stash of Werther's Originals and, baby bird style, broke it up in my mouth and fed Declan little bits (none big enough to choke on, hold your horses).  Of course, he took those eagerly and calmed down.  Nothing like some good old high fructose corn syrup to save the day.

Everywhere I go, people tell me they love Declan's clothes.  Of course they do, Charlie has the cutest little boy clothes ever...and all of Declan's clothes come from Charlie.  I don't know what that kid would be wearing if it weren't for Jess who kindly sends me shipments of darling clothes every few months.  And shoes, tons of shoes.  So many shoes that I have pairs ready for the next three sizes.  Declan wears a 4.  My mom consistently pics 5.5s and takes Declan places in them.  And insists they fit.  But I digress, the point of this paragraph is that Declan gets a ton of hand me downs from Charlie.  And Jess, being practical, often buys twos of her favorite things.  

So it started the first night, when we put the boys in matching, red pajamas.  We giggled and took pictures and thought that'd be the end of it.  But then they had matching fleeces and hoodies and pants.  Pictures will come.  There's just something hilarious about kids in matching outfits.  Someday they'll be really mad, but for now, we'll just enjoy it.

Charlie was such a perfect little host.  He did cry when Declan crawled onto Jessica's lap and gave him a big, sloppy kiss, but later he returned the favor.  Kids giving kisses might just make my list of things to live for.  Right up there with hot fudge Sundaes...scratch that, so much higher.  

Declan was just enamored with Charlie right from the beginning.  He crawled after Charlie and watched him, enraptured with every wiggle, stack, and chew.  This extended to one of the highlights of the trip.  We put the boys in the tub together.  Then we gave them both Mohawks. Then we took pictures.  

I can't wait until the boys are making forts and building tents in the back yard.  Hopefully they will be buds and enjoy being together as much as we do.  I'll post pictures as soon as I get them.

Baby Steps

Well, I've been stressing a little, just a little that Declan, who was so advanced on his crawling, hadn't seemed to get the walking bug. But, just today, Declan took some steps forward in that department (yes, I do love puns). He's been really sick for the last week, so he wasn't moving at all, much less making strides forward (puns are pun). Anyhoo, these videos move me (I just can't stop).

Tis the Season

For sickness.

Declan's had a few ear infections, and once, when he was really small, he was sick for a couple of days. But nothing, nothing has been like this. We've been to the doctor twice; first, when he had a cough, and then when he had a 103 temperature. That was Wednesday. It's Friday afternoon and that kid is still so sick.

He's got those puffy eyes people get when they have horrible colds. And his cheeks are bright red. He's got diarrhea, he's been throwing up, he's got a chest cough, and some serious snot running out of his nose all the time.

Of course, I find myself always leaning toward that what-if place. What if he never gets better? What if he has a seizure from too high of a temperature and gets brain damage? Does this ever go away? I guess it's karma for me always rolling my eyes at my mom when she'd come rushing into the room whenever I so much as dropped something. She practically had convulsions if I got a paper cut. I thought she was so annoyingly over reactive. Little did I know, it's genetic. Poor Declan. I'll probably put him in a plastic bubble just to make sure.

That said, I took Declan to the park last week on one of the days it was nice. While there, we met a woman there with her 15 month old and while we were talking, Declan did a triple sow cow off the gym onto the ground. Luckily, it was covered with rubber bits and he actually kind of sprang right back up. But, man, if that had been sand...

Back to my ill son, it's 68 today, so I'm going to take him outside. I figure I should take advantage of his lethargy and put him in the stroller. Normally, he'd complain right away because he hates to be confined, but I have a feeling he'll chill out today.

So that leaves the inevitable question: is it careless to expose the masses to Declan's cold or necessary to get out of the house and into fresh air?

News Feed

It's still been hard to get a good photo of the little one. He's much too concerned with moving and exploring to stop and look at the camera much less smile. But I did manage to get a few pictures when I took him outside last week.

We were so psyched last week when Declan started taking a few solo steps between cruising spots. Before that, he'd really not been interested in the whole walking thing. But baby things, they ebb and flow...no steps have occurred in a few days. Same with signs, while we were in Mexico, Declan started doing water, juice, and more. Now, he's just staring at what he wants and grunting with passion. I really should video it. If I didn't have to endure it day and night, I'd actually think it was pretty funny.

What has happened though, is that Declan is attempting to talk. Outside of the massive gibberish conversations he has with himself, he's now making sense with three words. Now, it's most likely one of those things that no one but his parents can understand, but I'm proud all the same.

Around the same time that he took some steps, Declan magically figured out waving, which is now his very favorite thing to do. Over and over. Once he figured out waving, he started opening his mouth massively and saying "Haaa", which made me laugh because I've been really emphasizing the wave myself. The books all say babies should be able to wave by 10 months, and as that milestone approached I was getting nothing. So naturally I spent hours each day waving and asking Declan to wave and each time I'd do it, I would get really excited, open my mouth wide and exclaim, "hi!!!!". Well, turns out he now thinks that in order to wave, you have to do the mouth opening and sounds too. And he thinks it's hilarious!

He's also been saying Dada for a few weeks now, which is just so cute and a really great thing for Rich to hear when he comes home from New Jersey. And I thought Mama would be next. I've been working on Mama for months! He's very interested in the words, but with all of his concentration, only Ba ba comes out, and since he babbles baba day and night, I just can't count it yet.

But no, he did not move on to Mama. He chose, instead, J.J., which is the name of our mean, antisocial cat who, of course, Declan is obsessed with. Every time he hears her collar jingle he looks around and says "Juh Juh". Seriously. I should just spend a day running away and hissing at him and maybe he'll come up with a Mama.

Overall, I'm really looking forward to him walking, especially because Spring is coming and I'd love to be able to take him to the park and have him do something other than pick up sticks and trash. But for now I'll be happy with targeted grunting and "Juh Juh".

Operation Chubby Succeeds!

It's been awhile since I wrote, but since I have no idea if anyone besides my sister reads these, I tend to think no one's holding her breath impatiently...

Let's see here. When did I last write? Oh yes, it was the death of Bigfatbaby. I miss that kid. Well, after all $65 worth of dairy and snacks, Declan has put on a delightful 1 pound and 4 ounces. I knew he still had it in him! The doctor was a little shocked, to tell the truth. I tell you, people, when Rich and I are given a task, we do not relent until it has been achieved to the highest level. Especially when it comes to the bambino.

And, (some of you may think this is not an achievement at all, but we do, so be supportive) Declan officially slept from 6:30pm to 6:30 am last night. I think I accidentally turned the monitor off, but still! It proves that he's ready for night weaning. Hell, it doesn't matter if he's ready, I am. So starting tomorrow night, our first objective is to officially wean Dec during the night. It hasn't been that bad waking up once a night, but he'll be 10 months on Sunday.

I have no pictures from Cozumel because in Rich and I's frantic packing that included every toy Declan owns, we forgot one essential: the camera. And although Grandma and Grandpa and Uncle Scott took some pictures, they didn't seem to want to follow him around night and day just to capture the cutest moments like we do. But, there are a couple of pictures, and when I do get one, I'll post.

Mexico was great. We stayed at a nice hotel, the weather, the sand, and the water were all beautiful, but traveling with a 9 month old is a little like being at a work function. You can't drink as much as you want; you're always on duty, and just when you're about to relax, you're needed for something urgent. Overall, I was so proud of my little Declonian, but it was obvious the day before we left that Declan had had enough! He refused to eat, wouldn't sleep, and, short of crossing his arms and sticking out his lower lip, he let us know it was time to go home.

Traveling home was a doozie. We showed up three hours early for our first flight only to find a one-room airport with no security line and, really, no one else there. Declan was good, crawling around and entertaining his grandparents, but I was already dreading the long day. We got there at 9:30am and didn't get home until 8:30pm. Loooong day.

The first flight was okay. Declan slept on my and Rich's lap most of the way. During our three hour lay over in Houston was when it got really interesting. We stopped to eat at a Chili's and Declan did well, and seemed to be enjoying himself. It wasn't until Rich looked at me, with laughing eyes, and asked me if I heard Declan that the real fun began. One look, and we could see that Declan hadn't just pooped, he pooped all over his back and it was seeping out of his onesie. In a panic, we took off for the nearest store, found a Houston onesie and went about our task. I hate to say it, but Declan's Baby Gap, adorable, "Apple of Daddy's Eye" onesie was a casualty. I actually spent a long moment at the trash can considering how hard it would really be to wash it out before coming to my senses. That thing was trashed! We had to put Declan's pants and long sleeved shirt in a bag and Declan was left in just a onesie. Luckily we had his blanket so we were able to wrap him up, but, seeing as it was about 30 degrees in Kansas, it wasn't ideal.

Next, (it may have been the lack of warm clothes or the fact that it was already past his bed time, and that Declan is nothing if not punctual) Dec cried almost the whole flight into KC. I just cringed as he started up each time. Especially because we were on one of those little planes with just two seats on one side and one on the other. Then this guy behind us started farting. I think it was the same guy who was glaring at us, probably farting for revenge. Like he thought he could blame it on the baby.

We've been home and it's been a tough week. I can't imagine that anyone reading this doesn't know why. It was heart breaking for me that I was in Mexico for Megan's funeral. No amount of sun or fun could make that go away. And that's all I will say about that.

Since I'm not sure if I've bragged about how advanced Declan is lately, I'll give you a list of his most recent accomplishments:

1. Flushing the toilet.
2. Drinking from a straw.
3. The death pinch.
4. Fish face.
5. Lifting up the toilet lid and reaching inside.
6. Waving.
7. Eating toilet paper. Big chunks. Chew. Swallow.
8. Giving things to Mommy, Daddy, and Scooter.
9. Singing/humming/making high pitched noises while music is on.
10. Pooping in the bathtub during naked time in Mexico.

Genius.

Operation Chubby

So everyone keeps asking me how Declan liked Christmas. Ummm...he didn't know it was happening? He basically stared at all of his presents and ripped on piece of wrapping paper before moving on. He likes his new toys though, so the fruit of Christmas, or should I say the spirit of Christmas was greatly appreciated by my little papoose.

Declan had his nine month appointment on the 19th, and it didn't quite go as planned. While Declan's height is in the 95th percentile, his height/weight ratio is now in the 20th. What happened to my bigfatbaby? After mildly hyperventilating, I explained that he's been crawling and is extremely mobile and my doctor (you know what she thinks about my explanations) immediately gave me the business. She said all babies his age are extremely mobile so it doesn't count. Then she really freaked me out by telling me that babies his age really need fat for brain development. So you know what that means? The first time he struggles on a test or is slow to pick something up, I'll spend the whole week blaming myself for not giving him enough fat when he was 8 months old. It's okay though, I got her back by keeping her for another 30 minutes rehashing all the reasons why Declan might not have gained weight. Maybe next time she'll think twice before shaming me.

Needless to say, the moment I got home, I started Operation Chubby. I went to the store and bought $65.00 worth of full fat dairy products. That's a lot of dairy, people! Then I made him some new food and instead of steaming the veggies, I sauteed them in butter, and instead of using water in the puree, I used heavy cream. The result: deliciousness. As God is my witness, Big Fat Baby will rise again!

We doubled his meal portions (he ate it all) and started giving him snacks twice a day. And instead of saying no to cookies, I bought baby D his first Nilla Wafers. No more water to dilute the juice! He gets the good stuff now.

And after a week of this, I took him to the doctor to have his ears looked at. I was more anxious to weigh him than to find out about the ears (they are fine). All the fat and carbs have to be working, right? I mean, he is my son. His weight? 20 Fing pounds! Not 20.1, not 20.2. 20 on the dot. Seriously. We nearly doubled D's food, which he was totally receptive to and which really broke my heart because I became convinced I must have been starving him. But 20 pounds? Not even an ounce gained? He even looks chubbier!

Short of creating a butter IV, I'm not sure what I can do to make this kid a chubster again. But, damn it, I'm going to try. Wish me luck.

We are off to Mexico on Friday, which I'm sure will mean I'll have a ton to report when we get back, but once we return, I have to go into the doctor's office for an official weigh in. Yep, that's right, we have to check back up on his weight. Hopefully, he will have fattened up by then. Wish us luck!

All I Want For Christmas Is My Two Front Teeth

Yep, we've reached that time again...teeth. Dec's top two are descending rapidly, and it's making the poor kid miserable. On the plus side, Declan's finally figured out that he can manipulate us, and is now super sweet right before bed time. And tonight he gave Rich and I the sweetest, most sloppy kisses. Then he bit me. On my lip, on my cheek, on my nose. It was like he didn't know what he liked more, kisses or bites. Yep, he's definitely teething.

He also got some of his first Christmas presents. And the most successful has been from his Uncle Scott and Aunt Amy. It's a little walker/scooter that helps kids with walking skills. Until today, Declan has seemed more than content crawling and cruising. He stands alone, but only by accident. When he figures out that he's not holding onto something he panics and drops right to the floor. Maybe it was because he still had something to hold onto, or maybe he just figured it out, but, after pushing the walker on his knees a few times, he started following with steps! I was so proud. I'm really looking forward to those first steps.

Declan's been crawling and cruising for awhile now, and he's gotten his share of bumps. I swear I'll be standing not an inch from him and still he manages to get multiple black eyes. It seems like the moment that one disappears, another shows up. Surely enough, today, after a bruise-free eye for a few days, Declan took a monumental spill while trying to push the walker and ended up with a welt and a puffy eye. Great. The Moms Club will probably think I abuse him.

On a lighter note, I finally got around to creating Christmas cards. They're my first. Usually, I'm all talk and no action, but yesterday I took 154 pictures of Declan and finally found two that were card-worthy. Then Rich helped with the wording, and I'm going to pick them up Monday. Now I've just got to get them addressed and stamped...let's hope they get out by Christmas. Wish me luck!

Moms' Club of Lawrence

I found out that there's a moms club in Lawrence and was so excited to actually venture out of my safe, little bubble. Of course nothing ever goes as planned though. This is the story of my life.

So I got an email from the membership chairman and she told me that they were having a meeting on Wednesday at 4:00 and that they had a babysitter for the kids that only cost $1 per mom. I decided that nothing was going to keep me from this meeting.

So on Wednesday at around 3:00, I started getting ready. Declan was a little fussy, but I was determined. I wanted to appear stylish but casual, so I put on a v-neck t-shirt and a cardigan. I had just taken a shower and my hair air dried nicely, so I actually felt pretty good. Then I got Declan ready. He was fussy, and as we progressed, what started as a whimper, evolved into a full-blown tantrum, but, frazzled, I soldiered on. I was not going to miss this meeting.

I ignored the cries and forced Declan into his coat. I set his hat and gloves out to make sure I didn't forget, and went downstairs to check the location. Nope. No getting on the computer for me. The coat had only intensified Declan's rage and now he was demanding to be held or scream bloody murder. So I called Rich in New Jersey and had him look up the location, which turned out to be harder to find than I thought.

So I packed Declan up, it was now 3:55 and we needed to go. I improvised and luckily the meeting place was pretty close to our house. I got there at 3:59. Success!

And as I watched all the moms bring their kids into the meeting place, I checked my quarter stash for the $1 babysitting fee and...nothing. Turns out Rich had taken the quarters for the toll that Monday. Great. I almost turned around. I didn't want to be that one person that wasn't together enough to pony up for the babysitter. Especially when it was only $1! I wanted to find some good networks and new people to interact with and we all know first impressions are important.

But I had worked hard to get there, so I hoped they would forgive me. Then I realized I had never gotten the hat and mittens on Declan, so on the cold, windy day I watched all the warm, cozy, well taken care of, children gather for the meeting. And I sheepishly grabbed Declan and brought him inside as soon as possible.

I'm the kind of person that likes to point things out before other people notice, especially when they don't know me, just so they know that I know what's missing. It's like letting them know that I really have it all together, this is just an exception. But, truly, I don't really have it all together. Who am I kidding? Anyway, the first woman that said hi to me got an earful about Declan's missing hat and mittens and my lack of a dollar. She was nice and seemed a little surprised I was so worried. I think I was also a little too much for her because she didn't really talk to me again... Oh well, there were lots of women. Maybe one could be my friend.

But I wasn't done yet! I introduced myself to the club's officers and let them know that I was new. I was carrying Declan and talking and it took me a minute to notice that when I had hoisted Declan up, he had moved my cute v-neck down. And the whole time my bra had been showing. Yes, first impressions people. And I had to tell the officers I didn't have my dollar. While my bra was showing. Sweet.

They were all nice and the meeting started. Declan was actually playing really well and his fussing magically stopped when he spotted kids and toys. I was keeping an eye on him, mostly because I felt so self-conscious and it gave me something to do. But, when they started the meeting I was doing my best to be attentive and redeem the whole bra thing when Declan took a big spill. He started screaming, and I rushed over. So I picked him up, and in an effort to quiet him down while the group leader was talking, I gave him one of the Nilla Wafers that were offered for snacks. Now, it's important to note that we've made a significant effort to feed Declan wholesome food. He's never had a cookie. Turns out he likes them, a lot.

Declan took that cookie and shoved the whole thing in his mouth. He couldn't even chew it! It just sat there, bulging out of his cheeks. And he had this look on his face daring me to even think about trying to take any of it out. So I had no choice but to watch as he sucked on the whole cookie. Slurp. Slurp. Slurp. And Nilla infused spit started spewing from his mouth down my black cardigan. Bra showing again. Wiping spit up. Bulging mouth. Smile, just smile.

The meeting ended quickly, but it was 4:45 and I know my baby well enough to know that I had about 5 minutes until the final countdown, so I quickly left. But not before requesting the play date calendar. Hey, they all may run when they see me coming, but I'm coming damnit! I didn't go through all of that for nothing!

When I got in the car, I saw that my stylishly air dried hair had turned into the pre hot oil part of the VO5 commercials. Gary Busey in the house!

The Final Meltdown do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do

Just a few snippits of info and some cute pics. Since they're unrelated, I've decided to do a top ten list ala Letterman.


Top Ten Reasons Declan is Hilarious

10. Where's Waldtoe?


9. Solid Food

8. Super Declan!

7. His New Winter Hat and Mittens

6. He Loves the Ladies


5. But Not More Than He Loves Mommy
4. And Daddy

3. He Likes to Carry Socks In His Mouth
2. He Uses Two Spoons

1. He Loves Those Bubble Baths!

Thanksgiving

Money can't buy a wonderful family...I am truly blessed.

I'm one of those people who is always lamenting. I've just found that it's rejuvenating to admit those things that bother me. But, lately, with the sleep deprivation and the adjustment of the new baby, I think I've focused more on the downside of things. And don't get me wrong, in addition to adjusting to life with a baby, Rich and I have had a tough fall. Things just haven't been going our way. Things have been hard financially, Rich has been traveling to New Jersey for work, Declan hasn't been a great sleeper, and Rich's mom is sick. All of the stress has definitely taken a toll and sometimes it seems like things will never turn around.

But the thing that I didn't expect was that all of this hardship would humble me and make me more grateful for the things that I do have. It's amazing how being on a tight budget can make every opportunity feel so special. I think before this, I spent several hundred dollars a month on things like coffee and take out. I think Papa Murphy's is seriously missing all the money I was spending on pizza. What would Suzie Orman say?

Rich is gone part of the time and it's so hard to be on call 24 hours a day. Before Declan, I would spend my summer vacations reading and lounging. I don't think I'd even know what to do with a whole day, let alone summer, now. I used to get at least eight hours of sleep a night, and honestly it was more like nine. And I am not a nice person when I'm tired. It's like I'm the Hulk, but instead of turning green, I have crazy eyes and ratted hair. Either way, I scare people when I venture out in public. But again, I wouldn't trade all the free time in the world for the love and devotion I feel for my son.

I watched Oprah's pay it forward challenge the other day, and I could not stop crying. All of the stories were amazingly touching, but there were two that really made me stop and think about all of the amazing things in my life. One was a 75 year old man who had to drop out of elementary school to take care of his family. It was his life's aspiration, his highest dream, to learn to read. He had been auditing a first grade classroom and was reading at a first grade level, and the challenge winner decided to spend her $1,000.00 to buy him a box of books. And the look in this man's eyes when he opened this box was of such wonder and thankfulness. He was drawn to tears just looking at this treasure chest. And I couldn't help but think of how lucky this man would think I am. What could I possibly have to complain about? In addition to living in a safe community, with a college education, I have a warm home in the winter and a closet full of clothes...and bookshelves full of books I've read.

The other story was of a woman whose boyfriend had shot her in the face with a shotgun. This woman was horribly disfigured and the challenge winner gave her $2600 for a facial surgery. Here I am worrying about the last few pounds I want to lose or going to the store looking messy! On top of that, I have a beautiful, healthy baby. Which makes me want to tell another story from that show, but I won't. In fact, I could go through all of the touching stories and my reaction would be the same: I was just so struck by how much I take the ease and comfort of my life for granted.

Another inspiring experience I've had lately was seeing Jeanette Walls speak at KU a few weeks ago. She wrote a book about her life called The Glass Castle. Anyone who's read it knows where I'm going with this. Jeanette's parents did horrific things to their children. They watched the kids starve and bought themselves alcohol and chocolate. They exposed them to molesters and vagrants. The story is sometimes too horrible to believe and yet it happened. And it is happening for many people right now. But when I saw Walls speak, she said that when bad things happen, you can hold onto them because of their horror or you can look at them as opportunities to make a change. She called her worst memory, when her father offered her up as a prize in a pool game to an older man, a gift because it motivated her to get out. I've never seen that kind of hardship and I hope I never will.

This Thanksgiving, I'm thankful for perspective. Because I can see all the things I don't have or the mountain of things that I do. It just matters where I'm looking.

Sweet Home Kansas City

This weekend, Rich and I proudly brought Declan to Kansas City to meet some of Rich's best college friends. They were at a wedding that we didn't go to, so we only had a few hours to see one another. I was really touched when Rich told me that they were excited to meet Declan and wanted to make sure we could see each other even though Rich and I weren't going to the wedding. So, on Saturday, we put Declan in a great outfit, packed up all the toys and gear necessary for a visit, and took off for the Embassy Suites on the Plaza.

Whenever I go somewhere, I have a mental image in my head of what it might be like. Usually this isn't far off, but sometimes it differs greatly with reality. This was one of those times. As you all know, Declan is a crawling, pulling up, and cruising fanatic who loves to explore. I was thinking that an Embassy Suite would work out great and had envisioned little Declan exploring the room, being held by everyone, and doing all those little funny things babies do. Except I forgot that this was a male-driven outing. I don't know about you, but my husband, for all of his strengths, is not a detailed organizer. He's likely to accept what is put out instead of lobby for his way. Especially with his friends. So I heard and envisioned Embassy Suites while Rich envisioned the lobby bar at Embassy Suites, but no details were discussed, so we were given another reality altogether.

After we arrived at the hotel, the group told us that we were going to Charlie Hooper's. Which is a bar. Without windows. Or high chairs. Or a clean floor. Or ample lighting. Not even the door has a window. This is probably the worst place for a baby in the KC area. The guys were all drinking in between the wedding and the reception, which is what they've always done. And we were just going to go right along. Just with an infant. The line from Sweet Home Alabama just kept going through my mind, on a loop. "You have a baby! In a bar." Right before the girl starts talking about the Jacklyn Smith Collection from Kmart. But this was not my field trip, so I played along. Outside of my inner protests, everything went okay for about five whole minutes. But when Declan, who had about the same opinion of the whole baby in the bar thing as me, started howling, I eagerly threw him into the Baby Bjorn and walked around outside. Except it was 30 degrees. And Declan was throwing a baby fit.

So I went in and out of the three stores on the street. At Tuesday Morning, I created an enemy when I was looking at coffee pots (I needed one, so why not take a shopping opportunity?) while she was looking in the same section. After a few sideways glances at me and my red-faced baby she retreated to the housewares section. Maybe she was just eyeing the same pot, but it also could have been the Mariah Carey-like high notes coming out of Declan's mouth. Who knows? I think she might have complained to the manager. Whatever. I had bigger issues.

When it was obvious to me that I could 1. Not rejoin my husband and the merry drinking men and 2. not walk around and shop with my little one. I did the only thing I could do: I put him in the car and spent the next hour driving around Brookside. I sang along to the radio and looked at the beautiful houses, and Declan fell asleep. It was definitely one of those days.

Here's the kicker though. Declan usually eats at 5:00. We were on our way home from Kansas City around that time, so I decided that we should stop for dinner instead of enduring more cries on our long ride home. So we stopped, and the most amazing thing happened when Declan got out of the car. He got into his high chair, and grinned at me. Then he spent dinner alternating between stuffing grilled cheese in his mouth (not whole grain, not organic...don't judge me, we had a hard day) and turning around to the family behind us and grinning at their daughter. It was his first flirt. I think he was so relieved to be back in a familiar setting that he decided to reward us with some sweetness. Kids. Just when you think you've got them figured out...

Total Anihilation

It seems to me that parenthood is constantly filled with humbling experiences. That as soon as you are light on your feet and feeling proud of your excellent parenting, something comes along to knock you back down to size. We were doing good, Declan started crawling early, which has its own difficulties, but I was really proud at how well he was thriving. Declan opened up and became the smiley, happy baby I was worried would never come, and I was at least getting okay rest...

Then he got his teeth, and then the dreaded ear infection. Now, 10 days after we started antibiotics, Declan is still pulling at his ear, is almost inconsolable throughout the day, and he woke up every two hours last night. To add insult to injury, he was like this most of the week while Rich was in New Jersey, and Rich is traveling this week too. I've certainly been knocked back down a few notches.

I wonder if everyone feels so helpless or if it's just me. I still feel like a kid, and some days I just want it get easier. Then it does, but that's fleeting too. I did get some wisdom from watching Kung Fu Panda last night. No matter what you want it to be, a peach tree will always be a peach tree. Brilliant, right? Declan will always be Declan. Not the kid in my perfect world, not my friend's baby who sleeps, and smiles, and sits on laps, not the baby who can already wave bye-bye at eight months. Declan will always be the baby that crawls all over the story lady at the library. He'll always be the baby who wants mommy ALL the time. He'll always be the baby who sees an electrical cord 10 feet away and zooms straight for it and hates the stroller and the car seat and the playpen. He's a peach, not an orange. And with this timeless Disney wisdom, I must conclude that there are wonderful things about a peach. And then the cycle starts over again because I'm starting to feel proud. Crap. Something's going to erupt any second now.

On another note, there was a baby, for privacy reasons, we'll say she is a rhubarb, not a peach, who walked around to every kid at story time and took their toys. She'd take a toy and walk around with it, and eventually drop it and move on. And her mom didn't intervene until little Rhubarb, happily gulping on some milk from a sippy cup, took the cup and sheepishly gave it back to its original owner. Meanwhile, I practically had to pry Declan's death grip off of the story lady. It was like a moth to a flame. He saw her white hair and granny spectacles and fell in love. Maybe he'll like older women when he grows up. Oh, and by the way, that little girl, her name was actually Rhubarb. She had on turquoise, suede, American Indian style boots. Rhubarb. Do you think her mom would hate it if little Rhubarb decided she wanted to be called Barbie and dye her hair platinum?

Charmander

I have a friend, Trisha, whose son is one month older than Declan. I love seeing what Frankie's doing, because it gives me an idea of what is coming. In the early months, this was especially neat. Frankie would smile and I'd hope that Declan would smile soon. I saw Frankie going crazy in the jumparoo when Declan could care less, and I was so excited to see Declan interact like that.

This week, Jessica and Charlie came to visit. Charlie is 11 months older than Declan, and the last time they saw each other, Declan was only four weeks old. This time, although it wasn't an instant brotherhood, the boys were more aware of one another, and since both are big personalities, I got to see what's coming.

First of all, Charlie is adorable. He's funny and charming, and if Declan does half of the hilarious things Charlie's come up with, we're in for a lot of fun in the next few months. Jess has told me stories, but nothing, nothing compares to the real experience. From the moment they walked through the door, I could tell that the little baby I'd seen so many times before was all but gone. Jess had gotten Charlie Sonic, fastened the bib, ripped the chicken nuggets into Charlie-friendly pieces, and...with one sweep of his arm, Charlie pushed half onto the floor. Unsatisfied with his progress, he quickly swept the rest of it off his tray. Needless to say, Scooter had a new best friend.

With dinner over, and Charlie out of his seat, I got to see the true show. All of a sudden, I heard a little humming, and then a 1 1/2 year old booty shake, and then, the finale, some New Kids on the Block "You Got the Right Stuff, Babaaay" leg kicks (you know what I'd talking about, don't pretend you didn't go to the concert). Let me tell you, I've never seen a toddler dance, but without fail, when music came on, Charlie started the dance. I loved it! Over the next couple of days, I found myself trying to coax Declan into just a slight sway. The boy band moves could wait. I'm not picky. I just have a feeling that a small part of my soul could be fulfilled if Declan would dance. You all know how I love to dance. But Rich, not so much. He'll do two things: slow dance and the robot. And his robot involves just one arm moving back and forth. It might sway all of my fears about having only boys if at least one of them would dance around the living room with me.

Here's the New Kids' video. Charlie's dance is right at the 1:20 mark.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QuHgBCxCRgo

I'll keep you updated on Declan's Dance Card. So far, 0. But I have not yet lost hope.

Jess and I went to The Legends (fail!), Nordstrom Cafe (double fail!), birthday dinner with my mom at our favorite restaurant (I don't think we're allowed back), and the McDonald's play room (had to change a poopy diaper on the floor, but no one saw...pass!). I don't ever go to McDonald's because they don't have food I eat, but I have a feeling I'll be trying out their whole menu of coffee items. It's two blocks away from my house. Crap.

That's what's wonderful about having another mom to do stuff with, she's been there before, if not currently sharing the same experiences, and it's less embarrassing when you have someone with you who understands. It's also great to see that even though Charlie wasn't a great sleeper when he was Declan's age, he's figured it out now. He's able to take pretty long naps, even though, like Declan, he was a cat napper. He survived his MMR vaccine, and there's no trace of autism. Just like hanging out with Trisha excites me for what's to come, being with Jessica shows me that there's a light at the end of our tunnel. I think Jess would argue that there are other tunnels and other issues, and I know that's coming too. Right now, I'm just desperately hoping for the day when I can sleep 10 hours in a row. Hell, right now I'd take 6.