Honesty

One of the things that bonds Rich and I is that we're both honest people. We're also very earnest, we want to be good people and we work hard at it. What goes along with that is that we both have very high standards. We give a lot and expect a lot in return. This definitely applies to Declan, poor kid.

This weekend we went to my friend Laura's baby shower. It wasn't long after we left that I realized we must be the most annoying party guests. Everyone politely asked about Declan and over and over again I found myself talking about two things: his size and his sleeping habits. I'm sure people just wanted to hear that he was great and we loved him, which are both true. But Rich and I, so engrossed in our daily struggles, just focused on what wasn't going right.

At one point in the night, I was asked if Declan was on a schedule. Rich and I both answered "no". We thought we were being honest. In reality though, we were being earnest. I realized that Rich and I are applying our high standards to our child. We don't want to be baby liars, and pride ourselves on our honesty. According to our standards, Declan was not on a perfect schedule yet. But, I began to realize, that wasn't the truth. Declan actually is on a schedule. He wakes up from 8:00-9:00, eats, plays for a couple of hours and is ready for his first nap from around 10:30 to noon. Then he eats, plays, and goes down for his afternoon nap from 1:30-3:00. Sometimes these cycles occur later, sometimes earlier, and sometimes he has an off day and doesn't follow this. Mostly though, he follows a schedule. Rich and I's standards are just so high and we want to be honest, so we answer "no". He doesn't wake up at the exact same time every day or go to sleep for his nap at exactly 11:45 every day, but I don't think that's what babies do.

It's like the woman my sister told me about who claimed that her one-year-old could say 100 words. She counted every "word" that came out of his mouth. I'm the opposite. I won't claim something until I'm absolutely sure it's there.

I think this is just as bad as baby lying. Because we're misrepresenting the truth. The truth is that we have a wonderful, lovely baby who is darling and smiley and we are working hard at being the best parents we can be for him.