Worst. Week. Ever.

I'm a big reader. Since I found out I was pregnant, I started snatching up every related book out there. What to Expect When You're Expecting freaked me out a little, but for the most part, I really enjoyed learning about everything that was going on.

Since having Declan, I've read countless parenting books, and lately I've been searching for some sort of method or explanation or magic potion that would help. What I've mostly found though, is more confusion. It all sounds so simple on paper. And logical too. Put your baby to bed on his back slightly awake and he'll learn to put himself to sleep. It makes total sense that the more you repeat a pattern, the more babies respond...except when they don't, because sometimes they won't. And of course, of course the easiest way for Declan to sleep is on his tummy. So I have to choose: get a little sleep, but possibly kill my baby or just stay up for a year straight and go crazy (insert mental picture of Gary Busey's mug shot).

Aside: It's not even a stretch to compare myself to Gary Busey's mug shot. I'm going to bed tonight with rice cereal in my hair, and I think there's baby pee in my bed. And I don't even care. If you haven't seen it, Google it. Then put my face where his is and imagine that his hair is molded using rice cereal...perfection.

Anyhoo, so I've been on my own this week, and it just so happens that all the "bad habits" we've developed over the time when Rich was home (we'll now refer to that as "the honeymoon phase") have now come to a head and it's sink or swim time. For example, our petite saucisse (or little sausage) loves, still, at 18 pounds, to be swaddled. It was okay when Rich was here because he could take the only swaddler that worked and wrap Declan into a papoose in no time. Me, I'm not great at it. Declan just ends up crying more because he keeps breaking out in the middle of the night. So I've decided that this week is the end of the swaddle. I washed it, folded it, and packed it up. Declan was not aware of this, and was expecting his nice, comfy swaddle. Enter fireworks.

I won't go into the details, but I will say that it's taken over an hour and a half each of the past three days to get Declan down for his afternoon nap, not to mention any of the other times I have to put him down. Needless to say, it's been a struggle. I have new respect for single moms. I don't know how they do it. I'm sure it will get easier, but for now, I'm Gary Busey, saying "good night".