You've got a point!

So I'm currently watching a Lifetime movie.  Yes, it's Saturday night.  And yes, I did say Lifetime.  Shit.  I chose a Lifetime movie out of all the options.  I even own a few DVDs and a Wii.  Is this the moment?  The one I'll look back on when I have mom hair and mom jeans?  The moment when I chose the Lifetime movie out of all the other options?  

But there's a reason I'm admitting this on the Internet and not just keeping it as my dirty little secret.  It turns out the main character's name is Declan.  And everyone but Faye Dunaway's character (yes, that Faye Dunaway) can figure out how to pronounce it correctly.  She keeps calling him deCLAN instead of DEClen, and it's driving me crazy.  Did I give my kid a name that people are going to mispronounce?  I love being Lana (Lawna), but I hate when people call me Layna or Lahna (rhymes with banana).  I hope Dec doesn't go through that yearly ritual in class where he's anticipating all the ways his teacher might butcher his perfectly wonderful name.  And while I understood people's inability to pronounce Guilfoyle, Corcoran is surprisingly difficult too.  And I have a friend who shall remain nameless who still spells my last name Cochran even though I've been married now for almost five years.

But this blog is really about Declan, and boy did we have a day today!  We're going through one of those leaps right now, and it's been so much fun.  In addition to throwing balls and a couple of new words like doggie and ducky (trust me, they are different), Declan has finally, finally started to like books!  He's still not interested in sitting down and listening to stories, but he's started bringing me and Rich books and pointing to pictures inside.  Tonight, he made me go through Brown Bear, Brown Bear five times.  I'm aware that in the future that might get annoying, but tonight, tonight it was lovely.  And it wasn't even the best part.  

As you all know, pointing revolutionized Declan's world.  A good point and grunt and Declan can communicate his wants and needs in a very efficient way, thank you very much.  And so we've spent a lot of time lately naming the things he points to.  Most of the time, I have no clue what he's actually identifying, so I improvise.  But sitting next to our kitchen table are three flower pots.  He's been pointing to them a lot, so today I decided to ask him to point at the flower.  Lo and behold, one chubby little finger stretched out right in the direction of the orchid. Not sure if it was really what I thought it was, I tried a few more times and sure enough, he was pointing to the flowers.  

Then we tried the light, then daddy and both times he pointed right to the place.  We were so incredibly thrilled.  Of course we tried "point to mommy" but Declan just looked at us.  I'm like his shadow.  I'm surprised he didn't just point to himself.  

But the coolest part was when Declan pointed to a flower and a doggie in a book and to the light in his room.  I can't believe I just wrote for 20 minutes about Declan pointing at the correct thing, but for us it's a complete revolution.  To me, this was just as amazing as Declan learning to ride a bike.  It's surprising how something so little can bring moments of such pure happiness.  God I'm cheesy.  First the Lifetime movie, now talk of pure happiness....  Next, I'll tell you about how home is where the heart is.  And the next thing you know, my blog will have a teddy bear border.  And when you see me, I'll be wearing a corduroy vest with a turtleneck underneath.

BTW, next week's Nora Roberts movie has Brittany Murphy and Smith Jared from Sex and the City.  Guess Faye Dunaway knew what she was doing.  And Jerry O'Connell as Declan Fitzgerald has some Emmy-worthy moments. Maybe Lifetime is cool!  Or maybe this is how they get you.  Gotta go, I think I need to go look at minivans online. 

p.s. Here is a direct quote from my husband as he comes into the room "what are you watching?  This movie sucks.  Is that Jason Donnelly?"  Am shaking with laughter.   

Big Bites

So Declan turned one on Wednesday.  And aside from all the emotional transitions we were absorbing, there were some physical ones too.  The phrase "biting off more than you can chew" comes to mind.  Because we're so adept at time management, Rich and I spent last week cramming to finish painting Declan's new room upstairs, which we didn't finish until Wednesday night.  And that was just the beginning.  We had a party to throw.  

Declan's party was at 2:00p.m. on Saturday and we worked right up until it started.  After moving all the nursery furniture upstairs, we then transformed three other rooms in the house.  We'll just say that as of Friday at noon, our main living room contained piles and piles of, well, crap and our basement was in disarray.  If it weren't for my friend Becky who spent an hour helping me move around the furniture in my living room, I think I may have had a mental breakdown.  This is when you know you have PMS, people.  Rich, he knew since Tuesday, but I passionately refuted his absurd ideas.  Needless to say, I added way more stress to my baby anniversary than was needed.

In all my whirlwind of house transformation madness I neglected to really prepare for the party.  So Friday night I was scrambling to make the food, punch, and, my first priority, the adult punch.  I wasn't sure if it was appropriate to have adult punch, but by then I really didn't care.  

Amazingly, everything came together and I don't think anyone really noticed the placement of my wing back chairs...

Declan, meanwhile, had his first case of people overload.  I could just see the inner dialogue.  With every new face at the door there was recognition, slight panic, and then relaxation once he spied Mommy or Daddy.  To be fair, Declan was really great.  I think it was all the sugar.  In addition to some seriously sugary punch, Declan loved his cake.  I really know when he loves something when he points and grunts.  And there was a lot of insistent grunting and pointing at the cake.  Success!

My friend Trisha put it best.  She said that a first birthday party is like your wedding.  It whirls by and you don't get a chance to talk to everyone as much as you want.  We had a blast though.

Leaps!

So I'm not sure if I've talked about it before, but the most useful book I've read since becoming a mom has been The Wonder Weeks.  I found it when I was looking online for help with a baby who wouldn't sleep, clung to me for dear life, and seemed unusually fussy for no reason.  It was what Oprah would call an "ah ha" moment for me.  But for me it wasn't a clarification of my soul, it was a guidebook for how to understand all those things that were driving me bat shit crazy!  I just felt so out of control, especially when all the books contradicted each other and, often, my own intuition.  

Then I found The Wonder Weeks.  God, I sound like a commercial.  But I don't care.  Here's the basic premise:  when kids go through fussy periods that seem to have no reason, they are usually on the verge of a mental breakthrough or "leap forward" as it's called in the book.  These Swedish researchers spent years working on case studies and found that during certain weeks of a child's first year (and I think the years of toddlerhood too), children reach certain mental developmental milestones.  Before the leaps forward, when kids are working on the new understanding, they get fussy and cranky and don't sleep.

And sure enough, after all the books that didn't really apply to Declan, I found one that was trustworthy.  I'm talking freaky accuracy.  Right when Declan would seem not himself and we were up late because he wouldn't sleep; right when we were taking out the Ibuprofen because it had to be teething, I'd take out that book and count out the weeks (sometimes that would take a considerable amount of time, especially after about 25 weeks), it would be right on.  

The best part about the book is that it outlined the mental leaps that take place after the fussy period and would give examples of some of the new skills that would emerge.  And every time Declan would start doing those exact things.  

It totally makes sense that this would be the book for me.  Brain science makes sense to me; way more than some authoritative-author-voice telling me I was making all the wrong decisions; way more than some super regimented Nazi routine; way more than letting my child using my boobs as comfort until he was 5.  This book did not guilt me or tell me what to do.  I hate being told what to do, it's like Marty McFly being called chicken.  It just sets off alarms.

But I've already bored you, haven't I?  And this blog isn't about the book.  It's about the new leaps forward, and the last of Declan's first year, that have been so fun this week.  His walking has totally improved.  He's been getting on his little car and slowly moving it around the room.  He's started to point everywhere and waves bye bye when he wants to leave a room.  He's throwing a ball back to me.  And he's finally gotten "all done" in sign language.  

I'm really looking forward to having a toddler.  Declan's been so darling lately.  To be honest, I wish I could have my second baby and fast forward to the time he/she is one.  I know that probably sounds cold, but we established when I started blogging that I'm only interested in the truth, not some hunky dory, pretty picture.  And the truth is that I love my little kid.  I love making him laugh and walking around with him.  I love that he interacts with his environment and understands me when I show him things.  It's just so much better than the infant stage.  Not that I wasn't totally in love with him and everything he did then, but it's just so much different now.  And at the end of this first year of motherhood I do feel I am finally getting the hang of it.  

But you know how I feel about confidence...right when you're feeling pretty proud of yourself, something new comes along to knock you back down to size.  But I think I'm ready this time. 

Yucky

I remember it from when I was a kid, and I was warned so many times that it would come. But it really doesn't sink in until you are stripping the crib, bumper and all, and you look in the closet and see the four outfits that your son has soiled in a half-day. Yep, we've got it. The Stomach Flu. Yuck.

Wait, let me correct myself, "we" don't have it. "They" have it. And by "they" I mean Declan, Rich, and now my mom. It seems this nasty virus clings to anyone and everyone it can. Except me. Poor me. No, really! I've got about seven more pounds to lose! Two good days of a stomach flu, and I'd be back at my pre-pregnancy weight! And I'd get to rest. Rich got a whole day and a half in bed. Oh, what I would do for a day and a half in bed!

It really makes you wonder when you envy someone up all night with every kind of thing spewing out of his body. What kind of warped reality am I in? I'll tell you. The kind that needs to lose some weight and get some sleep. These are two of the top things on my to do list. They are my priorities. This flu could really get me there. But no, of course I'm the only one not really affected. No chills, no fever, not even a stomach grumble. Poor me.

The weird thing about this flu is that Declan was in a good mood. He was bopping and exploring and causing mayhem the way he usually does, but just with a lot more dirty diapers. I changed eight total on Saturday. Rich, on the other hand, has just had the worst time. I don't want to embarrass him, so I won't give all the details, but let's just say he's not so keen on going anywhere out of the house right now. And, he even took a day off work. I had to put my foot down and practically pry the computer from his pale, clammy hands, but eventually he acquiesced.

The message here is...flu shots, are they worth it?

Obviously I'm kidding. Kinda. All I'm saying is that it would be nice to fit into those jeans again. Uh, oh, gotta go. My stomach's grumbling.