The final countdown

As of today, I have less than a month until baby Wyatt is due, I have eight days until Rich is working from home, and I only have one day completely alone with Declan with no moms day out, no daddy, and no baby.


I've spent so much time focused on when I'll have this baby that I haven't really taken any time to realize that each day I'm closer to Wyatt, I'm further away from being only Declan's mom.


I did take some time to look at Declan's evolution from newborn to this little boy I know and love. And what's so weird is that I have a hard time imagining him as anything other than what he is today. I lived each of the days in his first, second, and third years and pictures bring memories of course, but since I spend every day with him, he's never in suspended animation.


And Wyatt will be the same way. Right now I can only imagine him as a newborn, but that is such a fleeting, foggy time. If you want to make me really sad, tell me that my boys will someday grow up. Wyatt's not even out of my stomach and that thought will bring me to tears.


There has been a flurry of new babies on facebook too, and I see women I know becoming moms and remember that newborn devotion and the mind blowing reality of new motherhood. And that's exactly how I remember it was to have a newborn...so what will this time be like? What will he look like? What will his personality be? How will the birth experience happen? In a lot of ways, it's the same the second time around. Even though I've "been there", I still haven't met this little guy yet, so there are still so many unknowns.


I will say that one of the best things about having a newborn is seeing how the baby's face changes from newborn to taking on the characteristics that will stick. And in honor of that, and those new moms who are staring at that little angel and wondering how his/her face will change and who he/she will look like, here is the evolution of Declan's face from birth to 1 1/2, around the time when he really starts looking like the boy I see every morning. While I post, I will be wondering about Wyatt and how his evolution will look in two years. It already seems like the past. I've got to make sure I appreciate every moment this time around.

Trick or treat

Rich was my Devil's assistant. His costume was created with every random sparkly thing we had.

My little pirate. I don't know what happened between Wednesday and Sunday, but the only kid at the Halloween party who wasn't in costume on Wednesday somehow decided that not only would he put on his costume, but he wanted the hat and ascot too! It was a true Halloween miracle.

Aside from Halloween, we've had a lot of changes in the house in the last week or two. Declan's officially in his big boy room and baby Wyatt has a room and a crib and is becoming a serious reality instead of a far off idea. We also have a new basement playroom and new tile on our fireplace. Our entryway is filled with baby gear that I can't pick up or move, and one of these days a humongous rug will be delivered to my front porch. It will stay there until someone else can bring it in my house. Oh, and on November 30th, we have to leave our house for two days because we're having some painting done and they have to use oil paint. This is exactly two weeks before my due date. Am I crazy?!? Who does all this at 34 weeks pregnant? I do. Let's hope this guy isn't early.

And Declan, he knows. He knows things are different with me and in the house and he's starting to rebel. Last Monday was one of the hardest days I've ever had with Declan. In a one hour period, Declan took permanent marker to the office walls, smooshed paint into my bedroom carpet, and bit my leg so hard I still have a small bruise. Then I had to take him to the doctor's office.

And if you have a kiddo who is running all around and yelling and you aren't getting up out of your seat quickly, you get some serious judgy looks. And I can't say I don't deserve them. It's like toddlers gone wild in my life all the time right now. Once we got into the doctor's office, Declan took the handheld light and turned it on and while I was desperately looking for something for him to watch on my phone. Then I noticed the examination table was smoking. Yep, D had left that light on and it was now burning a huge black mark into the vinyl chair. Thank God it wasn't on the paper or we might have set the whole office on fire!

Just a reminder that all of the above things happened between 8:45 and 11:45 on the same day. My son needs a strong mom in both body and energy, and I'm just not that right now. I can't even take him to a restaurant anymore. A week after the fiasco morning, I took him to dinner with my friend Angie and her sweet, stationary son Ethan and the craziness just continued. Laps around the restaurant, climbing under and over the table, mooching off her son's fries and at one point he positioned himself behind Angie in the booth and decided to just stay there for a few minutes. She was a great sport, but I doubt I'll get a dinner invite from her anytime soon.

And frankly, I probably don't deserve one. It's hard for me to accept my diminished capacity and it's endlessly frustrating to feel like you are out of control and are allowing your toddler to run the show, but the truth is I just can't physically keep him in line right now. So, we're doing play dates at home and choosing to visit enclosed spaces. He can run laps and I can sit. Perfect.